pieterh wrote on 25 Sep 2015 09:30
One in 25 people is a (sub-clinical) psychopath. You may meet them at work, on dating sites, in the street. If psychopaths have one goal, it is to take from others and give nothing back. If they have one supreme talent, it is not getting caught. Everyone likes a psychopath. Until it gets personal, and then your life starts to bend. I'll list ten ways a psychopath (let's call him or her "Mallory") touches your life. If you recognize all of these, beware…
1. He's really into you
Mallory likes you and wants to hang out with you. A lot. He thinks you're special, interesting. You wonder why he's doing this. Did you suddenly become a lot more attractive? Yet it's flattering and makes you feel good about yourself. So you don't ask if he's too good to be true.
2. He likes himself… a lot
Mallory dresses well, works out, enjoys showing himself off. He spends a lot of time at the gym. He has nice sunglasses. He cares a lot about how he looks, and this is constant, no matter the occasion. He takes a lot of selfies and posts them online. You feel like he's talking to people you don't know.
3. He leaves deep impressions
It goes further than just fitting in. Mallory leaves a lasting impression in people. You will notice that people talk about him like he's a celebrity. He has some way of projecting his character that people adore. It makes you vaguely jealous.
4. He is rude to unimportant people
While he charms to your friends and relations, he is dry or even rude to people who are beneath him. For example in a restaurant he will not thank the staff who serve him. Unless he sees someone he likes, and then he is charming. You feel uneasy with his behavior.
5. He asks you for small favors
I call this "greasing," and it's a thing Mallory does to make you like him. He asks you for small innocent favors. Helping him move stuff. Advising him with something. Just keep him company. Every time you say "yes" you become easier to manipulate. You start to like him. It's called the Ben Franklin Effect.
6. He gets angry easily
As you spend time with Mallory you'll have small, stupid arguments. He'll misunderstand something you said, and be angry with you. It will blow over, after you apologize. He never apologizes. This is another classic tactic to rope you into a "relationship" with him. You begin to feel anxious when you talk with him.
7. He has no history
He has no old friends you can speak to. He has lots of stories, yet nothing you can check on. If you google him, there is little except his self portraits. He has no professional track record. His past is blank and his present is unstable. This makes you curious. Yet he's open to everything. Think of the possibilities.
8. He is super social
He is fast to make friends with your family, colleagues, anyone who matters in your life. He does this with energy. Pretty soon everyone has accepted him and likes him. If you have any doubts about him, others will tell you he's OK. This soothes you.
9. He needs things from you
He doesn't hide that you can help him. He may even say, "only you can save me." It is never about money. Maybe he wants to save the world, and you can help that happen. Over time, his needs become your goals. He makes you feel like the most important person in the world.
10. You start to change your life
You begin to shift your priorities to suit Mallory. You begin to break old habits, and spend less time with people you usually hang out with. You feel energized and positive. Mallory promises you so many things!
Does this describe someone in your life right now? Do you want to know what Mallory is really thinking, and planning? Do you want to learn how to break it off and get away? For more on psychopaths, read "The Psychopath Code." It's available on Kindle, in paperback, and as a free PDF.
Comments